Days after SPM

First and foremost, dear all loved readers or visitors, welcome back to my blog. It had been quite a long time I was inactive with blogger. Dust everywhere. Decided to clean it up this morning and here it comes. A brand new looking and design, simple and satisfied. I would like to start blogging from now on. PLEASE, don't ever look back with my older posts, all those were past tense as we live in present. I don't feel like remove any older posts cause those were every little pieces of my memories. Alright, that's all for my introduction towards my new looking blog. This post will be all about my days after SPM. Feel free to read so. The last subject for SPM 2012 was Chinese, a moderate subject for me. (Actually I was already totally in my holidays mood after the toughest subject-Biology) The moment when whistle whispered, the signal of the SPM ended, the academic block was fulled with laughing and shouting. Everyone was happy,for sure. The hard work of the year had finally came to the full stop. Happiness in every candidates was indescribable. Me: Urghhhh, finally! Waving goodbye to my lovely 5S1 classmates as I knew everyone will be separated all over the world soon, very soon. A great buddy of mine, Wei Seng, he shouted my name all over the corridor and came in front of me, shaking hand with me and said: thanks for being my classmate for the last year of secondary school. At first sign, I was shocked and thought "is it okay with him? mentally problem ?", cause he never talked this way to me. Well, he is really a good friend indeed. He was one of the reason why I was in 5S1 last year. Always gave me a huge of help with my studies, the most importantly Additional Mathematics and Physics. Almost all the time, he whatsapp me the whole solutions of Add Maths if I asked him to solve me the tough questions, no matter midnight or daytime. Yeah, thanks God for sending him to me. *finger cross* As I have introverted personality, I didn't have much outings with friends after SPM. SPM ended on 03/12/2012, the days after it I was busy preparing for my further studies. At last I decided to go for foundation course in MMMC (Melaka Manipal Medical College), twinning to India for my Bachelor of Medicine & Surgery after a year. The best school in India for medicine course.*Alright I skipped the days of preparation* After having my shopping trip to KL, It was packing time to Melaka. I was excited at first. Welcome myself to my hostel and the new environment. First few days were fine. Homesickness attacked me after orientation. Terrible feeling, you will never get to know how it feels if you haven experience so. Every morning I brought a pair of swollen panda eyes for lectures and tutorials. 60% of students here were Indians and almost 100% of lecturers were. I felt like dying there. Fortunately, there were a gang of them who came over my room to accompany me, talk to me, bring me to here and there. I love them, till now. I miss home crazily, I phoned and cried to baba and mama for hours per day. After a week, I withdrew myself from the course, saying bye to the college, my parents thought that I came home because of homesickness, nope they were wrong. There were some reason that it was inconvenience to tell in public. I still bear in mind with what the president told me: "Girl, I hope to see you again in our April intake. Don't give up with your dream." At last I still left, with no regrets. I was so sorry that I wasted around 11 thousand there. Of coarse, my parents accepted my decision. Once I back to Miri airport, I laughed like insane because I'm home. Mama asked me what to do next, I couldn't answer her. I did stupid choice, I went to form 6 not because of I was aiming for local universities, I just want to stay with my parents for another 2 years more. Hanging around here and there from February to May, finally form 6 commenced. Went to school happily, seeing all my lovely teachers and friends. I felt much blessed here. Everyday teachers told us to think carefully whether to continue form 6 or not, cause form 6 is tough, super tough, world recognized certificate. The ranking is number 2 in the world, right after A level.It was only 2 weeks gone, I felt like want to knock to the wall, why am I so stupid? Everything couldn't understand. Puan Lai, one of my big mama in Chung Hua, her caring and encouragement always pushed me to move on. I told her STPM was tough but worth trying. Many people were shocked that I gave up my foundation course and came back for form 6. I was glad that many of them caring about my studies. I never feel embarrassed to tell them what's on my mind. Days by days gone, everyday I asked myself : should or shouldn't I continue form 6 ? I was tired of making decision, really. Tired. Mentally, physically and also emotionally tired. Struggling whether going or leaving. Mum had became my only listener these days. We recalled back all those vivid memories happened in these 2 years. How we sent off my sister for further studies. We laughed with tears in eyes. Finally told mum exactly how i felt in Melaka, still non-stop cring. She kept on telling me silly girl, you have to grow, just the problem sooner or later. I can't think too much as this may kill me deeply. I wonder how all my friends survive alone in KL, overseas or wherever. I was so sorry that I had influenced mama and brought bad mood into her. I decided to go KL again, straight forward to my stage 1 diploma. Well, my lovely parents, they have no comment with this, they support me always. So far only my family knew about my latest decision and also Ning. I told her everything and I knew that she will tell jiejing.I apologized that I cannot be able to stay beside you along STPM anymore, you knew I had my own way to go. 25/06/2013 was my last day to school. Later, mama went with me to do with my further studies stuffs. This was a tough decision which decided my whole life. Once I go, I cannot regret anymore. Like or dislike, you have to go through it, do it happily. This is what mum told. The night, I felt so much relief. Finally, everything settle down. Finally I can have a good rest. The another day waking up knew that I'm not going to school anymore, I felt so bad. To the commence date of my diploma, it was still one month to go from 25 of June. What I need to do in this one month time is to well prepared myself for the coming challenges. Out of my expectations, many of my 5S1 classmates care about it. They talked to me, a lot. First day of July, I woke up with many whatsapp messages. All of them were from KL or Singapore, the most touching messages were from Calvin and Wei Seng. Doesn't matter if we were miles apart, beacuse in my heart, you are right next to me. Well, no point to write out what we talked about, but I felt good to have him. Wei Seng, I always have his greatest support, soul mate of mine. He is the one who is clearest with my situation, buddy for 8 years. He never complaint for listening to me every times and he is always the one pop out in my mind once I need a listener. Thanks for being with me when I was in worst. As a well known person, Michael Jordon said that A winner never stops trying, I asked myself to try again ! Another quote from a medical college : you maybe disappointed if you fail but you are doomed if you don't try. Those mentally support from buddies and families, I have confidence with myself that I can go through it this time. Today was 8 of July. 16 days more to leave. Mentally prepared 70% done but 0% with my luggage. :D Wait, there is still a quote I read from twitter, I don't know who wrote it but it was just a beauty written. Your mind will quit 100 times before your body ever does. Feel the pain and do it anyways. Hard work is always worth it. Yeap, that's all for this post. I think I had over written. I walk the way I choose, God will bless my path. Dear readers whoever read this, thanks for reading and feel free to drop me some encouragements. Pray for me. Billion of thanks. I will update pretty soon, stay tuned.