Fear VS Fine

Finally there is unifi over my living place here. And it's blogging time again. I reached here few days ago, thursday. Straight went to my hostel condominium right after airport with sis. Took my hostel key from school then went there with lots of excitement. The outlook of the condominium was nice.

This is how the outlook of my condominium. Not bad right ? But then when I stepped in my unit, worse than my expectation. Living room still okay but not the bedroom. I live in master bedroom, it's old and dusty. Oh my god, the insecurity feeling flew once again. Put down all my heavy luggage, heart talk with sis in the dusty room, ate mummy's homemade dumplings. We cried, with lots of reasons. She told me she was upset too 2 years ago when she first came here. She spent 2 semester, more than half year to get used of the life here. She told me she always cried after phoned baba mama and never cried along the talk. She hided every sadness of her but not me. I felt better after cry out. First day, we cried, wiped away tears, repeated this silly action over and over again. At night, we had our dinner nearby, a chinese restaurant.

 

This was my first meal here. Salted fish pork belly clay pot. I had no any appetite to eat cause my darker mood was tortured me. But I know this terrible feeling will end very soon. Back to sis' condominium and bathed, what a tiring day. A great thanks to Ida and Kim Shin who talked to the throughout the night. Thanks for comforting and reminding me of every little things. I can't fall asleep even it was already midnight. It was hard to fall asleep but then after slept for few hours, I was awake with tears. Looking out the window, night view is pretty here. Think of I was separated with my dad and mum miles away, my tears dropped. The feeling of leaving home was TERRIBLE I tell you. You will never know until it happens on you. Forced myself to go back to sleep. The another morning, woke up and told myself it's a new day instead. Life moves on. We went to purchase all goods that needed in Festival Mall. Of course we were having our lunch there. 

Papa John chicken super papa pizza was our lunch of the day. The salty cheese sauce is yummy :P Still, I was still not in a good mood to eat. Please, I pray hard for the sadness to go away. Shoo Shoo ! We went back to hostel again to drop down all my stuffs. Both of us felt the same way, we felt better than yesterday. We cleaned up the dusty room and started to unpack my belongings. 6pm, we were home. It took one and a quarter hour to go to sis' condo. It was so tiring to have a round trip per day. Yea, this day was just much more better than yesterday, much  much more. Then, we smiled =)

Calling to baba mama at night, baba was glad that I'm not crying while talking to him. Well, I had no more tears to cry at that time. Anyway, it was a well spent day. Yesterday, nothing special. Went to pavilion to have our lunch, simple shopping. We went to O.M.G ! oh my gas nitrogen ice cream. That was our first try. We had a cutie size ice cream. Taste not too bad, not that cold but it's little bit costly. RM12.90 for a small size ice cream is not worthy at all. Alright, we promised no more next time. 

 

 This is the "O.M.G." ice cream with M&M topping. Yeap, last night, it was another night which was so hard to fall asleep. Cause I was scared the arrival of Sunday. What's on my thought last night : I have to go back hostel alone, ride on LRT for more than one hour alone, walk alone and sleep alone. The uneasiness never end. Today was Sunday. Time slipped. It was evening, I have to go. Jiejie sent me to the nearest LRT station and I continued the way myself. Well, the feeling was not too bad. Reached my living place around 1730. Settle down everything but still many clothes left unpack in luggage cause laziness visited. :D Had porridge as dinner, took a bath then sat down and wrote a blogpost. It was my first night sleeping here. I hope I have a great one.

Good night people !

We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of yourself. I will be fine. All my loves, stop worrying about be. I will be back very soon with flying colours. 

HEAD UP. STAY STRONG. MOVE ON.

Waving goodbye to Miri

Hi people. A very good morning to all. It is 25/07/2013, a day to remember, a day to say goodbye. I am probably on my flight heading to Kuala Lumpur or even reached my destination when you guys read this. I booked my air ticket a month ago. never one can turn back time. No one can stop the earth for even one second. Finally, the day came. A day I have to leave, once again for my future. I had been escaped for half year, wasted for half year hanging here and there, doing nothing for half year, more accurate can be said as 7 months. Decided to fly again, the decision was made with tears. With too much of unwilling, I still have to go. All along this whole month, I had fully prepared myself for this leaving. Everyday woke up, told myself :" It's a brand new day, I will meet new people, will have new experience, will have new happiness. Must try to fit myself in. " I scared that I'm going to cry along the flight, I downloaded some episodes of Running Man, to keep my smile on. Also along this month, I made my time fully pack with my family, I cherished every single moment I spent with my dad & mum. I always thought that the best gift from my parents were spending their precious time with me. Two to three weeks ago, I felt that the time passed too slow, I can't wait to fly cause I was too bored and felt lifeless without studying & also growing mushroom at home *sigh* . hmm, it was another story one week ago, I put my ten fingers out and counted. 7 days to go, exactly one week ONLY. I started to worry, will homesickness attacked me once again not ? I hope not that serious as last time. This was a long lasting contradiction.

I remembered one week ago, baba phoned and told us he had accident when he was on his way home from plantation. Mummy and I rushed to see him. I do hate those who drive after drunk. You don't appreciate your life but others do kay, idiot ! Thanks God it was not that serious, at least baba didn't get serious injured but the car crumpled. I told mum don't care how much money should we spend to repair the car, as long as baba was fine, then every other things doesn't matter. Looked into baba, I can feel his pain. This was the second accident he met along this month, tears scrolled down my cheek, he worked so hard to earn money for us, trying so hard to give us a better life. At the moment, I knew that no matter how tough my life is in KL, I have to go through it and make him feel proud to have me one day SOON. Here I have to tell you : baba, I love you so much. Thanks for doing too much for me. My last week in Miri was fulfilled with laughter. Every night having beer and wine time with baba mama aunty and her husband. They kept motivated me throughout the week. Some day, I went to bake cake with small aunt. She hand made a smoked oreo cheese cake for me as a farewell cake. And also sushi time, steamboat night, BBQ night and many many more. Mum kept on preparing all my favorite foods such as steamed village chicken, baked beef, fried inkfish, fried cuttlefish with chilli, uncooked jellyfish, wine prawn &...I remembered one day early in the morning, baba backed home with a plastic full with seafood. He shouted :"Mei, I bought your favorite jellyfish and inkfish!" My face was like : oh thanks I have something nice to eat today HAHA. Am I not coming back home anymore ? I wonder. HAHA. Five days ago, dad brought me to our oil palm plantation. He explained to me how an oil palm grow, how those workers harvest and more. He said we have to thanksgiving and content with what we have now because there is still a little part of people in the corner of the world lack of food and drinks. Also, I was charged not to waste money in KL, buy what I need only but not what I want. What a well spent day with baba, he taught me too much  philosophy of life. You know what around 3 days ago, my sadness amplified. Amplified when mama helped me out to wash my Ipanema slippers. She said I can't wash it cleanly. Not only that, my sadness magnified AGAIN when mama said :" Mei, come ! Put this into your luggage. Don't forget to bring. " 2 days ago, mum was busy making some cookies for me to bring over. I talked to her the whole day, I asked mum why we have to separate over here and there. She smiled and said I'm too silly to ask that. She kept repeated: "don't cry, you have to grow. This world is so cruel, go through it. You will definitely miss home but missing someone is a part of loving them, if you're never apart then you'll never know how strong your love really is." It was Monday night. That was my last night to spend with my baba because he was not in Miri for few days. He was unable to send me off this morning. I think I suffer from split personality ? Some moment, I thought that it's so sad that baba can't send me off but at the opposite side, I might think that It's okay, nevermind. I will see him in few months time. Is this a serious disease ? The night, yiyi husband told me they had a farewell dinner for me, those dishes were delicious but deep in heart I felt bitterness. I can't enjoy myself that night cause the leaving was getting nearer and nearer. Just another two more night then I have to leave. Once again, I punched into depressed and fear. Yesterday, it was my last day to be at home. I slept till noon. Grandmum visited me in the afternoon. Had my last packing last night. Spent almost last few hours at yiyi's home. Went for supper at twelve and backed home at one. Her husband told me: your future is my hope! I felt so proud ! Well, I promise I won't create any disappointment anymore. I received many farewell angpau from them too. I promise I will try my best this time. My families are just too wonderful and awesome, how I live without them ? Couldn't do anything to help myself for this fluctuation, I comfort myself with inspiration quotes, can say as escaping the truth. Whatever. Big laugh. In our life, there will be cloudy day or stormy day, but don't forget there will also have sunny day.

Baba mama, the cities in between us block the way. They make it harder. But I'll scream louder to say I miss you. Sometimes it takes the worst pain to bring about the best change. Don't worry dear parents, I will come back from United Kingdom with my bachelor certificate in hand 4 years later. Wait me !

Tough people make it through tough situations. Giving up is never an option. How much I wish I can always stay at this age like the photo above, but it's impossible I know. Everyone has to grow up. Sometimes all I want is run away from my life, but I know it won't solve any problems. So i choose to stay and fight. I will count my smiles instead of my tears. Thanks yiyi for sending me off this morning with King, the car I love the most. Thanks for these wonderful days. I will be back soon. Bye, goodbye. Separation is pain, too pain.

HOME, I WILL MISS YOU.


Motivation of life:

Accept challenges in life, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.

A day to remember.

After ahjiahjo for whole morning, finally we decide to go somewhere to send off his birthday present. I was shocked when I got a reply from you right on time in midnight. Thanks for reading the blog post last night. Normally you won't read I know, but I wonder why you did it last night. From your reply, i knew that my blog was read by you, cause you requested your birthday present. Well, i had prepared the present a little bit earlier, as past few years. Every year there must be present from me to you, but send or not send was another story. The present for your 18th birthday was a black Quiksilver shirt. Maybe the gift was not as costly as the camera lens, but I hope you can wear it someday, a pretty day with a pretty bright smile, in front of me. It's a hard favor to think of what present to give on people birthday, I love to give shirt as gift. Know why ? The feeling is terribly amazing when you saw they put on the shirt you gave. Once I stepped inside the Quiksilver shop, the black shirt caught my attention and I started to figure out when you wear it. Walked through the whole shop, I can't found the second shirt that gave me such this feeling. It was not in promotion price but it's worth I told myself. You are the first one to receive shirt as present from me, happy not ? Ask yourself. Maybe you will feel embarrass if you come alone (I guess so), I don't mind Connie to follow. I knew that we were not going to talk like before, we didn't talk at first. Both of us with our phone in hand, don't know what should we talk. The moment was too awkward. Well, all of these were in my expectation. I don't know what should I talk, but it would be my greatest pleasure to see you, right in front of me. It had been  2 years time I don't dare to look into your eyes, I was scared to face the real world inside.

 

This was the first photo of the day. Wen Zhen with his 4th birthday present of eighteenth. We were wearing same colour of top (black) and same colour of short pants (dark blue). I smiled crazily in heart when I saw you. *It was also the very first time to ride on your car. Guess it was also the last time. :( *Big sigh.

I likey this photo so much. So So much. Your face look so strange here but anyway thanks for having a photo shoot with me today. For sure, this picture will be kept in everywhere, phone, laptop and even heart. Thanks for the reunion. You told me it's impossible for us to back to before. Yea I knew that we couldn't turn back time but we can make it even more better. Right ?

This is what i always did when I was at beach. Happy reunion & Happy 18th birthday Wen (:
What a sunny day. I didn't rub off what I drew on the sand, I will let the sea water to wash away, wash away all those bad memories and keep all those awesome one. Of coarse on the left side, It was my shadow. Ignore it.

The combination of the pictures today. Happy 18th birthday once again ! Hope we start to talk more and more from today onwards. I am right here waiting for our next conversation. Check Instagram , Facebook and Twitter for all those photos.

Three photos with different smiles on. Big love to the MIDDLE one, so the in love with the smile. Anyway, my heart get warm little bit when I see your smile. God had answered my prayer.

Oops, I had taken one amazing photo with your DSLR camera, with your back look on the volleyball net. Send to me as soon as possible kay. The picture is so important you know, it is going to be a memory of mine towards you. 5%, remember? 5% portion.  AND, send me a pic of you with the shirt on. Billion of thanks.
It's almost last of your 18th birthday, I have too much things to tell in a sudden. Will you listen to me ?  Text me when you free.
Lastly,  I hope that you will like the shirt I gave. Enjoy your day.

Dear Lord, thanks for sending him back. :D *wink*

To: Wen Zhen (:

Here's a happy birthday post to the boy, or even a man, since he will turn into 18 soon. It's late midnight now and I'm still hanging in front of the lappy, figuring out this post for him. I hope I can post this successfully right on 12am of 14/07/2013, the eighteenth birthday of him.

Here is the beginning of the story. We met here. And this photo was taken by him if I am not mistaken. We were close that time, so so close.

The king of drum. The picture that I love the most in the 'MUDA' album, and it used to be his contact in my phone, reminds me of every calls and messages from him. In the past years, many things happened on me towards him which are memorable. We normally talked in the midnight, I wonder why but I enjoyed it. Whenever i saw this image appeared on my phone screen, I knew that it must be a text from him. I felt excited, always. Although we kept on talking nonsense. Not only that, I loved phone to wake him up for training. His voice was just too awesome through phone, especially the 'hehe". All of these doesn't last long. Few weeks only I think ? I'm here to say that those few weeks time were too precious and those were the days which I enjoyed the most throughout my muda life.

"A team means a team" , 4 of us, from right (Wen Zhen, Zhi An, Prudence, Shi Hien) with our team shirt on The memories will etch in everyone's heart, I guess. The first competition we did together and made it a fully success. The result of the competition was not important, the most importantly we all enjoyed the process and the preparation for it. Readers, do you see that's a peace in everyone's hand in the picture ? We did it together UNEXPECTEDLY. After the competition, around that time our friendship started to fade. We (me and him) were not close to each other, not anymore. Yet I don't know why.

Beach, place I love the most. This is one of the photo I love too. I found it from his profile. This was the basic image I use to do a puzzle for him during his 17th birthday. I didn't send for him as someone told me he might dislike it. So at last, I threw it away when I cleaned up my room few months ago..Too much things happened throughout our cooperation in lion dance club. I guess that was the main reason that separated us. But, true friendship can go through any hardship right ? Why we can't ? Maybe it's not true enough I think.

Look at his sunshine smile. Yes, you should always smile this way. 2 years, It had been 2 years we didn't talk. NO point to repeat once again the grandmother story between what happened to us here. Both of us knew it.

Remember ? Remember this pic? I told you I prefer this instead of the other one. Things go so different now. After 2 years, we just started to talk last year end, through some whatsapp. Face to face talk, still not yet. Do you know that I need how much of guts to text or whatsapp you at first ? I know that you won't reply, I know that you won't care, I know you won't even have a read with it, but I still send. Still can't forgive me after 2 years ? Now, I am leaving again soon. Let's grab a drink when free ? Catch up please. I have missed you, brother. :)

It's a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you; but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday. Before the clock strikes 12, let me take the opportunity, to let you know that you have grown a year more. There are some things I left undone, some words I left unsaid, some feelings I left unexpressed, but your birthday could never be left unwished,
Happy EIGHTEENTH Birthday WEN ZHEN !

This photo taken on 31/08/2011, my 16th birthday at Citrus. This was our last photo I think, very last. Not anymore after this. Well, all those were past tense.  I'm trying so hard to remove them. 

Wen, have a great birthday kay. I know many others will celebrate your 18th birthday with you. Your 18th birthday present is with me now. Come and get it from me if we can meet up. I want to give it to you with my own hands. 14/07,  It's the day you turn into teen. Happy 18th birthday to you. You have my heartfelt birthday wishes. Stay handsome, stay cute and most importantly stay healthy.

*I hope you can read this someday, somewhere..

Sincerely,

Hien

Blog post posted at 12:00am sharp of 14/07/2013.

Throwback to 321 !

Well, throwback to SPM 2012 result released date, 21/03/2013. I was a SPM candidate 2012. It was only one month to go before the release of the results. I may have taken the examination few months ago,but the feelings of insecurity and anxiety had not diminished with time. After the examination, I had initially felt relief that it was all over and even told myself that it did not really matter how i did since I had done my best. It was not a long conviction. That impressionable conviction soon disappeared as I began to reflect on my performance in the examination. Time stretched interminably before me and I began to berate myself for not having started the revision earlier as I thought about all the mistakes that I had made in the examination. First subject was BM, I felt depressed after the first subject. I thought I did it badly. The following were English and History. So far English still not that bad but totally different story for history. I was worried with my history cause those were tough questions for me. For physics and chemistry, I did stupid mistakes in both experiments. That was totally a wrong answer. And I lost around 10++ marks there, how to aim for A+, I knew it was impossible so once again, disappointments killed me that moment. In my mind, I kept replaying the examination in my mind and repeatedly see those mistakes. All this time, I was tormented by such despair and regret. At other times, when I was more positive and felt that I had actually performed creditably. My mind would picture all the right answers that I had given, especially those were trickier than others. At such times, I would applaud my cleverness and presence of mind. But of course, this did not last long as my darker moods would move me in to eclipse these happier moments and I would plunge once more into hopelessness. These fluctuations certainly kept me occupied. The months that waiting for the results to release were like hell, every minute seems so long. Along the wait, I can't even count how many times do I cry for it. On the day when the results were to be released, I made my way to school with trepidation. I measured each step scrupulously, hoping to prolong the inevitable. Finally, I made it to school without any mishap. I went to vice principal's room at the first moment I reached school. I knew that all teachers that love me will gather there every morning. Pn Lai, Pn Ten, Mr Yong, Pn Marie and Mr Thoo, They accompanied me through the long wait, but yet no one willing to tell me my result. I knew they had gotten the results in their hand. They kept telling me everything will be fine, don't worry. I got that. I sensed something's wrong. Their smile were so weird this morning. And the weirdest was they didn't joking with me this morning..Fine, I walked to hall as the result will be released in the hall. My friends were all in the hall, waiting anxiously for their turn to receive their result slips. All around me, students were either trying to conceal their fears by putting up a brave front or openly displaying their uncertainty. I was one of the second that I mentioned. Tears were rolling in my eyes. I stood in the queue and saw my friends either screaming with joy when they saw their results, or slinking away in shock and shame when it was not good. I could feel my heart beating faster as the queue shortened to bring me closer to the front. The result slip played an important role in my life, I couldn't manage to get a bad one, I told myself. Just before me was a girl named Wan Ling. When she saw her result slip, a whoop of joy escaped her and she started jumping around before me. She grabbed everyone in sight and hugged them, so delirious with joy she was. I began to feel my heart sinking. Surely after such excellent results, mine would show a failure, right ? I trembled with fear as the teacher handed me my result slip. Oh my gosh, threw away my slip and I burst into tears. I didn't get what I expected myself to get. 9A1B will be my pain forever. BM, this subject ruined my SPM. I felt so upset the time, why why and why. I cried silently behind the pillar. Pn Marie catched all this scene. She came over and asked me what happened. What touched me the most was she hugged my tight and said: "Silly, don't cry. You have to know why God arranges this for you. Accept it and be strong.我们的人生总要有一些遗憾点缀才会漂亮"  Wiped off my tears with her hand, she then went to stage for photography session. Then, Pn Marie and Pn Lai brought me to VIP room for lunch. I had a great chatting time with them, at the moment they were like my best friends. At night, Mr Yong and Pn Ten, my bid parents in Chung Hua, they brought me to Grand Palace for dinner. Thanks for doing all these for me my dearest teachers, I appreciate them deeply in heart. And also a big thank you to those who accompanied me go through the long wait. You guys were awesome. Well, this was really a memorable day, The B, one of my pain for now and always.

Now, few months after the result released* Actually the B was nothing, university is way more important. 其实，想想，那个B也不过是如此而已。

Days after SPM

First and foremost, dear all loved readers or visitors, welcome back to my blog. It had been quite a long time I was inactive with blogger. Dust everywhere. Decided to clean it up this morning and here it comes. A brand new looking and design, simple and satisfied. I would like to start blogging from now on. PLEASE, don't ever look back with my older posts, all those were past tense as we live in present. I don't feel like remove any older posts cause those were every little pieces of my memories. Alright, that's all for my introduction towards my new looking blog. This post will be all about my days after SPM. Feel free to read so. The last subject for SPM 2012 was Chinese, a moderate subject for me. (Actually I was already totally in my holidays mood after the toughest subject-Biology) The moment when whistle whispered, the signal of the SPM ended, the academic block was fulled with laughing and shouting. Everyone was happy,for sure. The hard work of the year had finally came to the full stop. Happiness in every candidates was indescribable. Me: Urghhhh, finally! Waving goodbye to my lovely 5S1 classmates as I knew everyone will be separated all over the world soon, very soon. A great buddy of mine, Wei Seng, he shouted my name all over the corridor and came in front of me, shaking hand with me and said: thanks for being my classmate for the last year of secondary school. At first sign, I was shocked and thought "is it okay with him? mentally problem ?", cause he never talked this way to me. Well, he is really a good friend indeed. He was one of the reason why I was in 5S1 last year. Always gave me a huge of help with my studies, the most importantly Additional Mathematics and Physics. Almost all the time, he whatsapp me the whole solutions of Add Maths if I asked him to solve me the tough questions, no matter midnight or daytime. Yeah, thanks God for sending him to me. *finger cross* As I have introverted personality, I didn't have much outings with friends after SPM. SPM ended on 03/12/2012, the days after it I was busy preparing for my further studies. At last I decided to go for foundation course in MMMC (Melaka Manipal Medical College), twinning to India for my Bachelor of Medicine & Surgery after a year. The best school in India for medicine course.*Alright I skipped the days of preparation* After having my shopping trip to KL, It was packing time to Melaka. I was excited at first. Welcome myself to my hostel and the new environment. First few days were fine. Homesickness attacked me after orientation. Terrible feeling, you will never get to know how it feels if you haven experience so. Every morning I brought a pair of swollen panda eyes for lectures and tutorials. 60% of students here were Indians and almost 100% of lecturers were. I felt like dying there. Fortunately, there were a gang of them who came over my room to accompany me, talk to me, bring me to here and there. I love them, till now. I miss home crazily, I phoned and cried to baba and mama for hours per day. After a week, I withdrew myself from the course, saying bye to the college, my parents thought that I came home because of homesickness, nope they were wrong. There were some reason that it was inconvenience to tell in public. I still bear in mind with what the president told me: "Girl, I hope to see you again in our April intake. Don't give up with your dream." At last I still left, with no regrets. I was so sorry that I wasted around 11 thousand there. Of coarse, my parents accepted my decision. Once I back to Miri airport, I laughed like insane because I'm home. Mama asked me what to do next, I couldn't answer her. I did stupid choice, I went to form 6 not because of I was aiming for local universities, I just want to stay with my parents for another 2 years more. Hanging around here and there from February to May, finally form 6 commenced. Went to school happily, seeing all my lovely teachers and friends. I felt much blessed here. Everyday teachers told us to think carefully whether to continue form 6 or not, cause form 6 is tough, super tough, world recognized certificate. The ranking is number 2 in the world, right after A level.It was only 2 weeks gone, I felt like want to knock to the wall, why am I so stupid? Everything couldn't understand. Puan Lai, one of my big mama in Chung Hua, her caring and encouragement always pushed me to move on. I told her STPM was tough but worth trying. Many people were shocked that I gave up my foundation course and came back for form 6. I was glad that many of them caring about my studies. I never feel embarrassed to tell them what's on my mind. Days by days gone, everyday I asked myself : should or shouldn't I continue form 6 ? I was tired of making decision, really. Tired. Mentally, physically and also emotionally tired. Struggling whether going or leaving. Mum had became my only listener these days. We recalled back all those vivid memories happened in these 2 years. How we sent off my sister for further studies. We laughed with tears in eyes. Finally told mum exactly how i felt in Melaka, still non-stop cring. She kept on telling me silly girl, you have to grow, just the problem sooner or later. I can't think too much as this may kill me deeply. I wonder how all my friends survive alone in KL, overseas or wherever. I was so sorry that I had influenced mama and brought bad mood into her. I decided to go KL again, straight forward to my stage 1 diploma. Well, my lovely parents, they have no comment with this, they support me always. So far only my family knew about my latest decision and also Ning. I told her everything and I knew that she will tell jiejing.I apologized that I cannot be able to stay beside you along STPM anymore, you knew I had my own way to go. 25/06/2013 was my last day to school. Later, mama went with me to do with my further studies stuffs. This was a tough decision which decided my whole life. Once I go, I cannot regret anymore. Like or dislike, you have to go through it, do it happily. This is what mum told. The night, I felt so much relief. Finally, everything settle down. Finally I can have a good rest. The another day waking up knew that I'm not going to school anymore, I felt so bad. To the commence date of my diploma, it was still one month to go from 25 of June. What I need to do in this one month time is to well prepared myself for the coming challenges. Out of my expectations, many of my 5S1 classmates care about it. They talked to me, a lot. First day of July, I woke up with many whatsapp messages. All of them were from KL or Singapore, the most touching messages were from Calvin and Wei Seng. Doesn't matter if we were miles apart, beacuse in my heart, you are right next to me. Well, no point to write out what we talked about, but I felt good to have him. Wei Seng, I always have his greatest support, soul mate of mine. He is the one who is clearest with my situation, buddy for 8 years. He never complaint for listening to me every times and he is always the one pop out in my mind once I need a listener. Thanks for being with me when I was in worst. As a well known person, Michael Jordon said that A winner never stops trying, I asked myself to try again ! Another quote from a medical college : you maybe disappointed if you fail but you are doomed if you don't try. Those mentally support from buddies and families, I have confidence with myself that I can go through it this time. Today was 8 of July. 16 days more to leave. Mentally prepared 70% done but 0% with my luggage. :D Wait, there is still a quote I read from twitter, I don't know who wrote it but it was just a beauty written. Your mind will quit 100 times before your body ever does. Feel the pain and do it anyways. Hard work is always worth it. Yeap, that's all for this post. I think I had over written. I walk the way I choose, God will bless my path. Dear readers whoever read this, thanks for reading and feel free to drop me some encouragements. Pray for me. Billion of thanks. I will update pretty soon, stay tuned.