Throwback to 321 !

Well, throwback to SPM 2012 result released date, 21/03/2013. I was a SPM candidate 2012. It was only one month to go before the release of the results. I may have taken the examination few months ago,but the feelings of insecurity and anxiety had not diminished with time. After the examination, I had initially felt relief that it was all over and even told myself that it did not really matter how i did since I had done my best. It was not a long conviction. That impressionable conviction soon disappeared as I began to reflect on my performance in the examination. Time stretched interminably before me and I began to berate myself for not having started the revision earlier as I thought about all the mistakes that I had made in the examination. First subject was BM, I felt depressed after the first subject. I thought I did it badly. The following were English and History. So far English still not that bad but totally different story for history. I was worried with my history cause those were tough questions for me. For physics and chemistry, I did stupid mistakes in both experiments. That was totally a wrong answer. And I lost around 10++ marks there, how to aim for A+, I knew it was impossible so once again, disappointments killed me that moment. In my mind, I kept replaying the examination in my mind and repeatedly see those mistakes. All this time, I was tormented by such despair and regret. At other times, when I was more positive and felt that I had actually performed creditably. My mind would picture all the right answers that I had given, especially those were trickier than others. At such times, I would applaud my cleverness and presence of mind. But of course, this did not last long as my darker moods would move me in to eclipse these happier moments and I would plunge once more into hopelessness. These fluctuations certainly kept me occupied. The months that waiting for the results to release were like hell, every minute seems so long. Along the wait, I can't even count how many times do I cry for it. On the day when the results were to be released, I made my way to school with trepidation. I measured each step scrupulously, hoping to prolong the inevitable. Finally, I made it to school without any mishap. I went to vice principal's room at the first moment I reached school. I knew that all teachers that love me will gather there every morning. Pn Lai, Pn Ten, Mr Yong, Pn Marie and Mr Thoo, They accompanied me through the long wait, but yet no one willing to tell me my result. I knew they had gotten the results in their hand. They kept telling me everything will be fine, don't worry. I got that. I sensed something's wrong. Their smile were so weird this morning. And the weirdest was they didn't joking with me this morning..Fine, I walked to hall as the result will be released in the hall. My friends were all in the hall, waiting anxiously for their turn to receive their result slips. All around me, students were either trying to conceal their fears by putting up a brave front or openly displaying their uncertainty. I was one of the second that I mentioned. Tears were rolling in my eyes. I stood in the queue and saw my friends either screaming with joy when they saw their results, or slinking away in shock and shame when it was not good. I could feel my heart beating faster as the queue shortened to bring me closer to the front. The result slip played an important role in my life, I couldn't manage to get a bad one, I told myself. Just before me was a girl named Wan Ling. When she saw her result slip, a whoop of joy escaped her and she started jumping around before me. She grabbed everyone in sight and hugged them, so delirious with joy she was. I began to feel my heart sinking. Surely after such excellent results, mine would show a failure, right ? I trembled with fear as the teacher handed me my result slip. Oh my gosh, threw away my slip and I burst into tears. I didn't get what I expected myself to get. 9A1B will be my pain forever. BM, this subject ruined my SPM. I felt so upset the time, why why and why. I cried silently behind the pillar. Pn Marie catched all this scene. She came over and asked me what happened. What touched me the most was she hugged my tight and said: "Silly, don't cry. You have to know why God arranges this for you. Accept it and be strong.我们的人生总要有一些遗憾点缀才会漂亮"  Wiped off my tears with her hand, she then went to stage for photography session. Then, Pn Marie and Pn Lai brought me to VIP room for lunch. I had a great chatting time with them, at the moment they were like my best friends. At night, Mr Yong and Pn Ten, my bid parents in Chung Hua, they brought me to Grand Palace for dinner. Thanks for doing all these for me my dearest teachers, I appreciate them deeply in heart. And also a big thank you to those who accompanied me go through the long wait. You guys were awesome. Well, this was really a memorable day, The B, one of my pain for now and always.

Now, few months after the result released* Actually the B was nothing, university is way more important. 其实，想想，那个B也不过是如此而已。