Waving goodbye to Miri

Hi people. A very good morning to all. It is 25/07/2013, a day to remember, a day to say goodbye. I am probably on my flight heading to Kuala Lumpur or even reached my destination when you guys read this. I booked my air ticket a month ago. never one can turn back time. No one can stop the earth for even one second. Finally, the day came. A day I have to leave, once again for my future. I had been escaped for half year, wasted for half year hanging here and there, doing nothing for half year, more accurate can be said as 7 months. Decided to fly again, the decision was made with tears. With too much of unwilling, I still have to go. All along this whole month, I had fully prepared myself for this leaving. Everyday woke up, told myself :" It's a brand new day, I will meet new people, will have new experience, will have new happiness. Must try to fit myself in. " I scared that I'm going to cry along the flight, I downloaded some episodes of Running Man, to keep my smile on. Also along this month, I made my time fully pack with my family, I cherished every single moment I spent with my dad & mum. I always thought that the best gift from my parents were spending their precious time with me. Two to three weeks ago, I felt that the time passed too slow, I can't wait to fly cause I was too bored and felt lifeless without studying & also growing mushroom at home *sigh* . hmm, it was another story one week ago, I put my ten fingers out and counted. 7 days to go, exactly one week ONLY. I started to worry, will homesickness attacked me once again not ? I hope not that serious as last time. This was a long lasting contradiction.

I remembered one week ago, baba phoned and told us he had accident when he was on his way home from plantation. Mummy and I rushed to see him. I do hate those who drive after drunk. You don't appreciate your life but others do kay, idiot ! Thanks God it was not that serious, at least baba didn't get serious injured but the car crumpled. I told mum don't care how much money should we spend to repair the car, as long as baba was fine, then every other things doesn't matter. Looked into baba, I can feel his pain. This was the second accident he met along this month, tears scrolled down my cheek, he worked so hard to earn money for us, trying so hard to give us a better life. At the moment, I knew that no matter how tough my life is in KL, I have to go through it and make him feel proud to have me one day SOON. Here I have to tell you : baba, I love you so much. Thanks for doing too much for me. My last week in Miri was fulfilled with laughter. Every night having beer and wine time with baba mama aunty and her husband. They kept motivated me throughout the week. Some day, I went to bake cake with small aunt. She hand made a smoked oreo cheese cake for me as a farewell cake. And also sushi time, steamboat night, BBQ night and many many more. Mum kept on preparing all my favorite foods such as steamed village chicken, baked beef, fried inkfish, fried cuttlefish with chilli, uncooked jellyfish, wine prawn &...I remembered one day early in the morning, baba backed home with a plastic full with seafood. He shouted :"Mei, I bought your favorite jellyfish and inkfish!" My face was like : oh thanks I have something nice to eat today HAHA. Am I not coming back home anymore ? I wonder. HAHA. Five days ago, dad brought me to our oil palm plantation. He explained to me how an oil palm grow, how those workers harvest and more. He said we have to thanksgiving and content with what we have now because there is still a little part of people in the corner of the world lack of food and drinks. Also, I was charged not to waste money in KL, buy what I need only but not what I want. What a well spent day with baba, he taught me too much  philosophy of life. You know what around 3 days ago, my sadness amplified. Amplified when mama helped me out to wash my Ipanema slippers. She said I can't wash it cleanly. Not only that, my sadness magnified AGAIN when mama said :" Mei, come ! Put this into your luggage. Don't forget to bring. " 2 days ago, mum was busy making some cookies for me to bring over. I talked to her the whole day, I asked mum why we have to separate over here and there. She smiled and said I'm too silly to ask that. She kept repeated: "don't cry, you have to grow. This world is so cruel, go through it. You will definitely miss home but missing someone is a part of loving them, if you're never apart then you'll never know how strong your love really is." It was Monday night. That was my last night to spend with my baba because he was not in Miri for few days. He was unable to send me off this morning. I think I suffer from split personality ? Some moment, I thought that it's so sad that baba can't send me off but at the opposite side, I might think that It's okay, nevermind. I will see him in few months time. Is this a serious disease ? The night, yiyi husband told me they had a farewell dinner for me, those dishes were delicious but deep in heart I felt bitterness. I can't enjoy myself that night cause the leaving was getting nearer and nearer. Just another two more night then I have to leave. Once again, I punched into depressed and fear. Yesterday, it was my last day to be at home. I slept till noon. Grandmum visited me in the afternoon. Had my last packing last night. Spent almost last few hours at yiyi's home. Went for supper at twelve and backed home at one. Her husband told me: your future is my hope! I felt so proud ! Well, I promise I won't create any disappointment anymore. I received many farewell angpau from them too. I promise I will try my best this time. My families are just too wonderful and awesome, how I live without them ? Couldn't do anything to help myself for this fluctuation, I comfort myself with inspiration quotes, can say as escaping the truth. Whatever. Big laugh. In our life, there will be cloudy day or stormy day, but don't forget there will also have sunny day.

Baba mama, the cities in between us block the way. They make it harder. But I'll scream louder to say I miss you. Sometimes it takes the worst pain to bring about the best change. Don't worry dear parents, I will come back from United Kingdom with my bachelor certificate in hand 4 years later. Wait me !

Tough people make it through tough situations. Giving up is never an option. How much I wish I can always stay at this age like the photo above, but it's impossible I know. Everyone has to grow up. Sometimes all I want is run away from my life, but I know it won't solve any problems. So i choose to stay and fight. I will count my smiles instead of my tears. Thanks yiyi for sending me off this morning with King, the car I love the most. Thanks for these wonderful days. I will be back soon. Bye, goodbye. Separation is pain, too pain.

HOME, I WILL MISS YOU.


Motivation of life:

Accept challenges in life, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.